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Katie S. Kathy Scott Matt Katie H. Alex Katie K. Kim Colleen Laura Laura Shannon Eileen Tamica Malavika This is where I live! PARC, home sweet home!

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Alex Colleen Eileen Kathy Katie H. Katie K. Katie S. Kim Laura Malavika Matt Scott Shannon Tamica



Alex actually, believe it or not, has self-discipline and works hard. This is something completely foreign to me (and to many of my friends, probably in lesser degree than me), but it's something I really respect him for. Alex is a biomedical engineering major. From Madison, Wisconsin, he's an ardent leftist and a peace-lover. Alex feels passionately about many things, from third parties to the injustice of colleges which give one credit for each class regardless of hours per week. He loves nature and the outdoors, and enjoys long summer trips with his family like the ones he's taken to Alaska. Alex is a fan of the Packers and the Yankees. He's a tremendously sweet guy, a lot of fun when you can get him away from his books, and sunburns easily.

Alex is also the New Coke of evil and the PARC bench of ridiculosity. Hierarchies


Colleen, webmistress extraordinaire, has an unfortunate tendency to laugh at very bad puns, especially late at night. Colleen is a journalism major who's looking to add a major in anthro focusing on archaeology. Yes, archaeology; she has a fascination with ancient Egypt. She also knows an uncanny amount about computers, and is the one we run to with pressing questions or porn viruses that need to be removed. She maintains her own website, Papyrus, as well as running PARC's website. Colleen hails from Erie, Pennsylvania. She listens to REM and U2, among others. Colleen was a Catholic schoolgirl, and though she denies it, it is quite possible that she would lick a salt statue of the Pope.

Colleen is, to her great dismay, the Seltzer water of evil. She is also the 1% milk of dirtiness, the queen-size bed of bitchiness, and the suburban cookie-cutter house of ridiculosity. Hierarchies


Eileen is a very nice person, although you'd never guess it from the stories we could tell about her. (Chicken nuggets? Sears Tower? What?) She is always entertaining, and prone to drastic mood swings and sudden changes of mind, as well as random generous gestures. As I can personally vouch for since she was my roommate freshman year, Eileen gets up early in the morning, and she knows how to vacuum(although she uses icky smelling powder); don't let this fool you, though, she's just as good at procrastinating on schoolwork as the rest of us. Eileen, a history major, is a proud Democrat who enjoys burning Ralph Nader in effigy. Her family currently resides in Orlando, Florida, although to say Eileen is "from" anywhere is inaccurate, considering that she has never lived in any location for more than a couple of years. She's graduating after three years at the end of this year and heading off to law school.


Kathy has recently become a radical ecofeminist devoted to fucking fascist beauty standards. Also known as "Rough Tough Fairclough" and "240 Pounds of Madness," Kathy will say and do the things the rest of us only wish we had the guts to. She lives near Sacramento, California, and is a poli sci major. Gifted or plagued with a rapidly evolving social consciousness, Kathy still finds time to dance, pose for photo shoots, play and watch hockey, and take on male chauvinism wherever she finds it. She's a gifted artist and writer, and an activist first no matter what it may do to her schoolwork. She also insists on keeping on taking those econ classes!


Katie H. is the sweetest bundle of utter ridiculosity you'll ever see. Hailing from little Isanti, Minnesota, she's an ice hockey player who can skate circles around the rest of us, literally. Katie is a journalism major, and, after spending endless weekend hours last year up at SPAC lifeguarding, she has become Medill's bitch a little closer to home, writing obituaries for alums who may or may not be dead. Almost always smiling, Katie is sweet even when she's being bitchy about her ex-roommate or certain other pet foes of hers. She's an enthusiastic member of the knitting circle who likes to knit and crochet. You can find Katie engaging in random acts of ridiculosity in room 211 with Kim and their many visitors, talking on the phone to boyfriend Derek, or out kicking ass with her hockey team.

Katie is the Diet Sprite of evil (next to last), the skim milk of dirtiness(last), the cot of bitchiness(last), and Master P's mansion of ridiculosity (all the way up at number two). Hierarchies


Katie K. is from Wisconsin, and damn proud of it! Milwaukee, to be specific. She's a soccer nut who plays better than just about anyone in PARC, knows more about professional and international soccer than I ever will, and is still waiting for Michael Owen to come sweep her off her feet and take her away. Katie is a journalism major, and has given up last year's job as Medill's bitch to the other Katie, in favor of interning at Fox Sports Chicago. She's tremendously good-humored and cheerful, and I don't think I've ever met someone who's disliked her. Katie likes Russian literature and has a large collection of crazy friends.


Katie S. enjoys wearing tank tops and loud pants. From Seattle, Washington, she's a secondary education and gender studies major, and wants to teach junior high-- we all think she's crazy, but she doesn't seem to care. She loves kids, especially her younger siblings, and enjoys babysitting and coaching soccer. Katie also loves animals, and is a vegetarian who will someday go vegan. She's interested in the deaf and in sign language. Her strange distaste for artificial light has raised rumours that she is Amish, and she has been heard to say, "How can they be a family? They're different colors!" Katie is currently studying abroad in Wales.


Kim may not necessarily make me look good in terms of procrastination, laziness, indecisiveness, and disorganization, but at least by being a not-too-distant second place she keeps me from looking as bad as I could. Kim, from Bexley, Ohio, is a relative of real live Amish people. Kim is afraid of clowns, ladders, the ground, ice skates (they could cut off one of your fingers!), pigeons, and pennies. She has sacrificed the white coat and decided not to be pre-med, and is a psychology and history major. Kim listens to U2 and Joni Mitchell as well as much more music which I can't even begin to keep track of. If she didn't drive so fast, she would be the perfect old woman-- she's bitter, plays canasta, knits, and is ready to retire right about now. Kim has occasionally been unfortunately plagued by uneven concrete.

Kim is the Coca-Cola with cocaine of evil, the 2% milk of dirtiness, the heart-shaped vibrating bed of bitchiness, and the farmhouse with barn and silo of ridiculosity. Hierarchies


Laura is apparently off at college to become a lady, majoring in theatre and French, learning to act, sing, dance, and sew. Well, she certainly has her work cut out for her! Laura is dirtier than I am, and enjoys liberally sprinkling profanity throughout her speech, although that's the only kind of "liberal" this Abbie Hoffman-loving leftist likes. From right outside NYC (don't tell her she's not really a New Yorker) in New Jersey, Laura loves baseball and her Mets, as well as enjoying tennis; she adores U2 and has an unhealthy obsession with Bono, as well as listening to Bob Dylan, among others. She's almost constantly working on or acting in a show here on campus or over at WNUR, the campus radio station, as well as going to the theatre and knowing everything there is to know about movies. Laura also has a Kafein addiction, as well as being a little more fond of Oreos than a vegan should be.

Laura is the Cherry Coke of evil, the butter of dirtiness, the twin bed of bitchiness, and the log cabin of ridiculosity. Hierarchies

 

Malavika is scarily like Kim in attitude and snarkiness; when I first met her, I thought "My God! There are two of them!" and was frightened. While they have many things in common, such as their love of Ewan McGregor, good alcohol, and the term "bitchho," Malavika certainly has her own personality-- I've never seen Kim comment on turn-of-the-century Asian political history or name the capital of Uzbekistan while drunk! Malavika is one of my few friends who has never lived in PARC (yes, I'm pathetic, shut up), although she is a non-res this year. She lives in Allison and works in the Allison mailroom, and if there's a problem with our mail, it's all her fault! Malavika is from Texas (which explains her inability to do simple things like put on hoodies) by way of India and Jamaica. She's a Medildo, and someday she will become a divorced, alcoholic international journalist.


Matt is an absolutely adorable Senate nerd. He's from Fargo, North Dakota, and is sometimes called Fargo Matt to avoid confusion with various other Matts we have around. He watches C-SPAN for fun, knows the names of all the Senators by state, and in his spare time practices writing the signature of Byron Dorgan, the North Dakota Senator whose DC office he interned in last summer. Matt is a social policy and history major and a poli sci minor, and he works in the poli sci office and is editor of The Communique. He's not one to pass up watching pretty much anything on NUTV, be it "The End of the World," documentaries of all types, or infomercials. The music constantly emanating from his room is not disco, he'll insist; it's dance music, of course. In addition, Matt is Kermit. Really.

Matt is the Mountain Dew of evil, the half-and-half of dirtiness, the double bed of bitchiness, and the van down by the river of ridiculosity. Hierarchies


Scott, a history and poli sci major with a Slavic studies minor, spent a summer in the Czech Republic and is determined to get back there, but much to his chagrin neni Cech, je American. As much as he wishes he hailed from Prague, Scott grew up behind the Orange Curtain, not the Iron Curtain; he's from Anaheim, CA. He's a hockey lover and devout Kings fan who also follows many other sports. Scott's hobbies include stealing keys, water fights, throwing cards at people, kidnapping action figures, and causing other general mayhem. He's never one to turn down an opportunity to burn a flag and protest imperialist capitalist oppression. Scott enjoys playing loud music at all times, with Rage Against the Machine, Nine Inch Nails, and The Smashing Pumpkins just a few highlights of his music collection. No 50% rule for Scott; he continues to push the limits of how much wall and door space can be covered by posters and flags.

Scott is the Coca-Cola Classic of evil, the whole milk of dirtiness, the extra-long twin bed of bitchiness, and the penthouse apartment of ridiculosity. Hierarchies


Shannon is from Flushing, New York, where my mommy grew up. :-) She's a senior who I remember looking to with awe as social chair when I was a lowly freshman. Shannon is an econ major who's everyone's first pick to sell out, but as long as she buys us nice presents we won't be too upset. That would involve her finding a job, though! She's moved on from the largest room in PARC, estimated to fit approximately 44 refugees, to an apartment with Tamica at 1200 Simpson where she makes real food, has (some) real furniture, and, happily for us all, hosts parties. (But does it have to be so far away?) Shannon's favorite knitting style is the "pop pop" pattern.

Shannon is supposedly the Diet Coke with Lemon of evil (I still assert that the lemon rightfully belongs to me), as well as the "Handyman's Dream" shack of ridiculosity. Hierarchies


Tamica used to live in 2 Blue, the most happening suite in the dorm, along with Kim and Shannon, but gave up housing lottery #7 to live in an apartment with Shannon this year. This means that when she IMs Kim, it's not quite as pathetic as it was last year when they were in the same suite. She's from Sugar Land, Texas, but luckily is not your average Texan. Tamica is a social policy major who's going to make the world a better place, and then hopefully tell me how to do it! Despite being a senior, Tamica is younger than me and will graduate college before she turns 21. Her hobbies include coming up with brilliant plans to torment Kim, among others, and conceptualizing and writing elaborate soap operas.

Tamica is the Jolt Cola of evil and the "static caravan" of ridiculosity. Hierarchies




 

Last updated 29 December, 2002

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Intellectual Property Rights denounced by Britt Gordon-McKeon, 2002