on the map to link to the bios!
Katie H. Katie
K. Katie S.
actually, believe it or not, has self-discipline and works hard. This
is something completely foreign to me (and to many of my friends, probably
in lesser degree than me), but it's something I really respect him for.
Alex is a biomedical engineering major. From Madison, Wisconsin, he's
an ardent leftist and a peace-lover. Alex feels passionately about many
things, from third parties to the injustice of colleges which give one
credit for each class regardless of hours per week. He loves nature and
the outdoors, and enjoys long summer trips with his family like the ones
he's taken to Alaska. Alex is a fan of the Packers and the Yankees. He's
a tremendously sweet guy, a lot of fun when you can get him away from
his books, and sunburns easily.
is also the New Coke of evil and the PARC bench of ridiculosity. Hierarchies
Colleen, webmistress extraordinaire, has an
unfortunate tendency to laugh at very bad puns, especially late at night.
Colleen is a journalism major who's looking to add a major in anthro focusing
on archaeology. Yes, archaeology; she has a fascination with ancient Egypt.
She also knows an uncanny amount about computers, and is the one we run
to with pressing questions or porn viruses that need to be removed. She
maintains her own website, Papyrus, as well as running PARC's website.
Colleen hails from Erie, Pennsylvania. She listens to REM and U2, among
others. Colleen was a Catholic schoolgirl, and though she denies it, it
is quite possible that she would lick a salt statue of the Pope.
is, to her great dismay, the Seltzer water of evil. She is also the 1%
milk of dirtiness, the queen-size bed of bitchiness, and the suburban
cookie-cutter house of ridiculosity. Hierarchies
Eileen is a very nice person, although you'd
never guess it from the stories we could tell about her. (Chicken nuggets?
Sears Tower? What?) She is always entertaining, and prone to drastic mood
swings and sudden changes of mind, as well as random generous gestures.
As I can personally vouch for since she was my roommate freshman year,
Eileen gets up early in the morning, and she knows how to vacuum(although
she uses icky smelling powder); don't let this fool you, though, she's
just as good at procrastinating on schoolwork as the rest of us. Eileen,
a history major, is a proud Democrat who enjoys burning Ralph Nader in
effigy. Her family currently resides in Orlando, Florida, although to
say Eileen is "from" anywhere is inaccurate, considering that she has
never lived in any location for more than a couple of years. She's graduating
after three years at the end of this year and heading off to law school.
Kathy has recently become a radical ecofeminist
devoted to fucking fascist beauty standards. Also known as "Rough Tough
Fairclough" and "240 Pounds of Madness," Kathy will say and do the things
the rest of us only wish we had the guts to. She lives near Sacramento,
California, and is a poli sci major. Gifted or plagued with a rapidly
evolving social consciousness, Kathy still finds time to dance, pose for
photo shoots, play and watch hockey, and take on male chauvinism wherever
she finds it. She's a gifted artist and writer, and an activist first
no matter what it may do to her schoolwork. She also insists on keeping
on taking those econ classes!
Katie H. is the sweetest bundle of utter ridiculosity
you'll ever see. Hailing from little Isanti, Minnesota, she's an ice hockey
player who can skate circles around the rest of us, literally. Katie is
a journalism major, and, after spending endless weekend hours last year
up at SPAC lifeguarding, she has become Medill's bitch a little closer
to home, writing obituaries for alums who may or may not be dead. Almost
always smiling, Katie is sweet even when she's being bitchy about her
ex-roommate or certain other pet foes of hers. She's an enthusiastic member
of the knitting circle who likes to knit and crochet. You can find Katie
engaging in random acts of ridiculosity in room 211 with Kim and their
many visitors, talking on the phone to boyfriend Derek, or out kicking
ass with her hockey team.
is the Diet Sprite of evil (next to last), the skim milk of dirtiness(last),
the cot of bitchiness(last), and Master P's mansion of ridiculosity (all
the way up at number two). Hierarchies
Katie K. is from Wisconsin, and damn proud of
it! Milwaukee, to be specific. She's a soccer nut who plays better than
just about anyone in PARC, knows more about professional and international
soccer than I ever will, and is still waiting for Michael Owen to come
sweep her off her feet and take her away. Katie is a journalism major,
and has given up last year's job as Medill's bitch to the other Katie,
in favor of interning at Fox Sports Chicago. She's tremendously good-humored
and cheerful, and I don't think I've ever met someone who's disliked her.
Katie likes Russian literature and has a large collection of crazy friends.
Katie S. enjoys wearing tank tops and loud pants.
From Seattle, Washington, she's a secondary education and gender studies
major, and wants to teach junior high-- we all think she's crazy, but
she doesn't seem to care. She loves kids, especially her younger siblings,
and enjoys babysitting and coaching soccer. Katie also loves animals,
and is a vegetarian who will someday go vegan. She's interested in the
deaf and in sign language. Her strange distaste for artificial light has
raised rumours that she is Amish, and she has been heard to say, "How
can they be a family? They're different colors!" Katie is currently studying
abroad in Wales.
Kim may not necessarily make me look good in terms
of procrastination, laziness, indecisiveness, and disorganization, but
at least by being a not-too-distant second place she keeps me from looking
as bad as I could. Kim, from Bexley, Ohio, is a relative of real live
Amish people. Kim is afraid of clowns, ladders, the ground, ice skates
(they could cut off one of your fingers!), pigeons, and pennies. She has
sacrificed the white coat and decided not to be pre-med, and is a psychology
and history major. Kim listens to U2 and Joni Mitchell as well as much
more music which I can't even begin to keep track of. If she didn't drive
so fast, she would be the perfect old woman-- she's bitter, plays canasta,
knits, and is ready to retire right about now. Kim has occasionally been
unfortunately plagued by uneven concrete.
the Coca-Cola with cocaine of evil, the 2% milk of dirtiness, the heart-shaped
vibrating bed of bitchiness, and the farmhouse with barn and silo of ridiculosity.
Laura is apparently off at college to become
a lady, majoring in theatre and French, learning to act, sing, dance,
and sew. Well, she certainly has her work cut out for her! Laura is dirtier
than I am, and enjoys liberally sprinkling profanity throughout her speech,
although that's the only kind of "liberal" this Abbie Hoffman-loving leftist
likes. From right outside NYC (don't tell her she's not really a New Yorker)
in New Jersey, Laura loves baseball and her Mets, as well as enjoying
tennis; she adores U2 and has an unhealthy obsession with Bono, as well
as listening to Bob Dylan, among others. She's almost constantly working
on or acting in a show here on campus or over at WNUR, the campus radio
station, as well as going to the theatre and knowing everything there
is to know about movies. Laura also has a Kafein addiction, as well as
being a little more fond of Oreos than a vegan should be.
is the Cherry Coke of evil, the butter of dirtiness, the twin bed of bitchiness,
and the log cabin of ridiculosity. Hierarchies
is scarily like Kim in attitude and snarkiness; when I first met her,
I thought "My God! There are two of them!" and was frightened.
While they have many things in common, such as their love of Ewan McGregor,
good alcohol, and the term "bitchho," Malavika certainly has
her own personality-- I've never seen Kim comment on turn-of-the-century
Asian political history or name the capital of Uzbekistan while drunk!
Malavika is one of my few friends who has never lived in PARC (yes, I'm
pathetic, shut up), although she is a non-res this year. She lives in
Allison and works in the Allison mailroom, and if there's a problem with
our mail, it's all her fault! Malavika is from Texas (which explains her
inability to do simple things like put on hoodies) by way of India and
Jamaica. She's a Medildo, and someday she will become a divorced, alcoholic
Matt is an absolutely adorable Senate nerd. He's
from Fargo, North Dakota, and is sometimes called Fargo Matt to avoid
confusion with various other Matts we have around. He watches C-SPAN for
fun, knows the names of all the Senators by state, and in his spare time
practices writing the signature of Byron Dorgan, the North Dakota Senator
whose DC office he interned in last summer. Matt is a social policy and
history major and a poli sci minor, and he works in the poli sci office
and is editor of The Communique. He's not one to pass up watching pretty
much anything on NUTV, be it "The End of the World," documentaries
of all types, or infomercials. The music constantly emanating from his
room is not disco, he'll insist; it's dance music, of course.
In addition, Matt is Kermit. Really.
is the Mountain Dew of evil, the half-and-half of dirtiness, the double
bed of bitchiness, and the van down by the river of ridiculosity. Hierarchies
Scott, a history and poli sci major with a Slavic
studies minor, spent a summer in the Czech Republic and is determined
to get back there, but much to his chagrin neni Cech, je American.
As much as he wishes he hailed from Prague, Scott grew up behind the Orange
Curtain, not the Iron Curtain; he's from Anaheim, CA. He's a hockey lover
and devout Kings fan who also follows many other sports. Scott's hobbies
include stealing keys, water fights, throwing cards at people, kidnapping
action figures, and causing other general mayhem. He's never one to turn
down an opportunity to burn a flag and protest imperialist capitalist
oppression. Scott enjoys playing loud music at all times, with Rage Against
the Machine, Nine Inch Nails, and The Smashing Pumpkins just a few highlights
of his music collection. No 50% rule for Scott; he continues to push the
limits of how much wall and door space can be covered by posters and flags.
is the Coca-Cola Classic of evil, the whole milk of dirtiness, the extra-long
twin bed of bitchiness, and the penthouse apartment of ridiculosity. Hierarchies
Shannon is from Flushing, New York, where my
mommy grew up. :-) She's a senior who I remember looking to with awe as
social chair when I was a lowly freshman. Shannon is an econ major who's
everyone's first pick to sell out, but as long as she buys us nice presents
we won't be too upset. That would involve her finding a job, though! She's
moved on from the largest room in PARC, estimated to fit approximately
44 refugees, to an apartment with Tamica at 1200 Simpson where she makes
real food, has (some) real furniture, and, happily for us all, hosts parties.
(But does it have to be so far away?) Shannon's favorite knitting style
is the "pop pop" pattern.
is supposedly the Diet Coke with Lemon of evil (I still assert that the
lemon rightfully belongs to me), as well as the "Handyman's Dream" shack
of ridiculosity. Hierarchies
Tamica used to live in 2 Blue, the most happening
suite in the dorm, along with Kim and Shannon, but gave up housing lottery
#7 to live in an apartment with Shannon this year. This means that when
she IMs Kim, it's not quite as pathetic as it was last year when they
were in the same suite. She's from Sugar Land, Texas, but luckily is not
your average Texan. Tamica is a social policy major who's going to make
the world a better place, and then hopefully tell me how to do it! Despite
being a senior, Tamica is younger than me and will graduate college before
she turns 21. Her hobbies include coming up with brilliant plans to torment
Kim, among others, and conceptualizing and writing elaborate soap operas.
is the Jolt Cola of evil and the "static caravan" of ridiculosity.