was a nice helpful daughter today, first cleaning in the morning
and then helping the party to run smoothly. I found myself asking
my mom for details about the special foods she was making as I helped
her, trying to fix them in my mind, and I realized with wonder that
the times I will watch her make these things are numbered. At some
point I will have my own home and my own kitchen, and I will make
caramel-coconut cake and fruit pastries for myself and my guests,
while my mother will make them before I arrive and serve them to
me with the other guests. It's a little odd to wrap my mind around,
but it's not all that far away.
other news, I did successfully make it through the rebroadcast of
the World Cup finals before discovering the result. Guests at the
party, though, said that they'd been greeted by flags, car horns,
and the loud cheering of "Bra-siiiiiiil!" as they traveled through
today involved plenty of cleaning, scrubbing, sorting, and dusting,
while watching numerous episodes of Trading Spaces. We did get out
of the house for a while, though, including a trip to the library.
There I returned the first two Harry Potter books and picked up
the next two. However, considering that Harry Potter is a quick
read, and the first two books lasted me through all of 4 one-way
Metro rides so that I was out of reading by Wednesday, I grabbed
War and Peace in addition. No matter what you may say about 1450-page
Russian novels, one thing they can't be called is a quick read.
Hopefully making my way through that will take up a fair amount
of my time, something that is sorely needed right about now.
certainly glad the office observes casual Fridays, since I'm not sure
I would have made it through the last day of a very long week without
a heaping helping of amusing websites (this week's gem: Threebrain.com-- check out the first two
links on the menu), pizza (well, that wasn't because of Friday, it was
a going-away party), casual clothes, and going home "early" at 5. Now
it's time to sleep, in preparation for a weekend of cleaning and celebrating
my dad's 50th birthday (which isn't actually until Wednesday).
I feel a little bit better about the Pledge today, at least as far as
Wellstone is concerned. We met with him again this morning, and he said
that while he disagreed with the court decision, he thought it wasn't
worth talking about or worrying about, and he did actually say that
the speeches on the Senate floor were disgusting and made him want to
vomit, which were my thoughts exactly. "I'd like to see them get this
upset and excited about real and important issues," he said.
talked about a bunch of other stuff, too. Goodness, he's just such a
nice guy, and our meetings with him are just the highlight of my week.
I can't wait until it's my turn to shadow him for a whole day. Of course,
I still have a problem with most of the other Senators as well as the
masses of Americans who have responded to this in such a distasteful
way. But I just have to take a deep breath and let it roll off my back.
In any event, today was-- well, not a bad day.
Today I was the most ashamed and depressed I have ever been to be working
for the U.S. Senate.
all started with one of the most gutsy and great court rulings in the
longest time-- that "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance is unconstitutional.
It was wonderful to see that these judges were willing to stand up for
what is right, in the face of tremendous political pressure.
tremendous political pressure there was. As we watched people speak
on the Senate floor, I wanted to vomit and to cry. It was ridiculous.
They kept saying that people's freedom to express their religion should
not be infringed, and that we ought to keep America the religious country
it was intended to be, referring to all of those other awful things
like "in God we trust" and the way that Congress and the Supreme Court
start every day talking about God. Senator Byrd said that if people
didn't like it, they could just leave the country, and believe me, I
the (biased, of course) news reports in the evening, I asked my mom
if we could spend the rest of the summer in Canada. All in all, it was
awful. I know that it would've been political suicide for Wellstone
to vote against the resolution condemning it, especially since he's
in a close race within months of the election, but it still was depressing.
But my dad did say that he made a statement at least mildly critical
of the way the Senators were acting on the floor.
know-- Congress depresses me, America depresses me, the human race depresses
me. I'm in a slightly better mood than when I wrote this this evening,
but not by a whole lot...
you ever had one of those days where you have a running internal monologue
telling you what an incompetent and awful person you are?
so I was asked to run a letter Wellstone had written to the President
over to Senator Dayton's office to have him sign it so they could fax
it to all the media outlets. "And hurry," they told me.
proceeded to first make the dumb mistake of thinking his office was
in Dirksen 346 instead of Russell 346 (the other two Senate office buildings
besides Hart, which our office is in), and seeing that he wasn't in
Dirksen 346, asked someone to look up his office in their directory.
They sent me to the eighth floor of Hart, which was completely random,
and by the time I had it figured out, Dayton had gone to a meeting,
and so we had to go over to the Capitol and wait for him to sign it.
This took forever, and inconvenienced many people.
as if that wasn't enough, after I got back my boss wanted me to do something
and asked me to pass the responsibility for getting a signature way
over in the House buildings to someone else. The only person who would
volunteer was Sophie, but she ended up having to go all the way back
a second time since she wasn't clear that it had to come back instead
of being left there. I had mentioned it, but she's deaf and I didn't
make sure she'd understood me clearly. I wanted to smack myself for
being so thoughtless and causing her that trouble.
slightly cheered up by seeing my Yankees, a very nice stadium, and a
good baseball game (even though they lost), but I'm still in one of
those moods where I see nothing but the worst in myself and feel like
all the bad things that have happened to me in my life have been deserved,
with no chance of even making a dent in fixing all my problems and flaws.
today has been a rather interesting day. I've done quite a lot, from
writing press releases ("Senator Wellstone is pleased to announce $585,000
in funding for Duluth International Airport"), to visiting the Ethiopian
embassy and hearing the ambassador speak, to reading 150 pages of Harry
Potter in 45 minutes on the train. I'm going to need to buy school reading
soon to slow myself down! Also, something entertaining happened which
I wanted to describe here, but my tired mind is not recalling it, so
it will have to wait for another day. In fact, aforementioned tired
mind should get some rest, along with tired body. Summer Britt has extreme
difficulty making it to midnight, and it's probably better not to try.
was nice to get a chance to relax today and do nothing in particular.
I took the opportunity to learn Free Cell on my computer and reacquaint
myself with Hearts, as well as indulging in plenty of the usual spider
solitaire. Lest you think my day was a completely unproductive wasteland,
I should mention that I spent a whole half-hour on the first installment
of my Spanish instruction CDs, which left me with the impression that
this course is probably too simple for me but that-- considering how
talented I am at forgetting easy things-- it will probably also be helpful.
And I finished the first Harry Potter book before deciding that I ought
to leave some reading for the Metro! As relaxing and unstressful
as today was, though, I'm not really excited about the prospect of many
more like this over the summer. It was basically a day without any substance
starting the day by doubling the number of shirts I own that I can wear
to the office with black pants, we also went grocery shopping to pick
up a variety of things for lunches. (While buying lunch is nice, paying
$4-5 a day for food is not sustainable.) Then, after a brief hiatus,
it was off to the public library. I got a CD set for learning Spanish
(I don't know how appropriate it will be for where I'm at, it said Spanish
III), a sign language dictionary (one of the other interns at the office
is deaf, and I want to try to learn some ASL), and the first two Harry
Potter books, of which I've read 100 pages so far. Also, tonight, I
watched Dr. Strangelove, which was a great movie, and Point Break (ie
Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze go surfing and shoot people), which
was, well, not. All in all, a fairly relaxing day. Hopefully tomorrow
will involve swimming. :-)
Just a week ago, it would be much more likely that I'd stay up until
6:30 to watch soccer than get up to watch. But today, I pulled myself
out of bed at 6:30 to make it to the office in time to see (almost)
all of the soccer game. It was really fun just for a bunch of the interns
and some of the staff and even briefly Paul to hang out and watch the
game, although it would have of course been better if we could've managed
a win. [May I damn Sportscenter here for putting the England-Brazil
highlights in about the 50th minute? Even the U.S. game was the 4th
or 5th story. Americans...]
We followed that up with a decidedly relaxed day, including exploring
Engrish, which was hilarious.
after getting home and having dinner, I put a couple hours into playing
around with Dreamweaver. I figure that I'm going to get my laptop to
connect to the internet eventually, so I might as well get comfortable
with the program and start coming up with stylistic and design ideas
for my site, and I'm making some progress. But now, it's past my bedtime
(that is, after midnight-- isn't that sad?), and time to sleep voluntarily
before it becomes a matter beyond my choice.
this was the most politically satifying day of my internship so far.
I got to first help at a press conference, and then observe a Senate
hearing, on labor rights and attacks and impediments to workers' rights
to unionize. It was just cool to see how Wellstone was bringing attention
to this and pushing to try to see what Congress could do to help these
workers. I mean, granted, they won't necessarily get anything passed,
let alone something significantly helpful. But it at least felt morally
good to see that the senator I'm working for was out there fighting
for something I believe in. Anyway, I'll keep this short. I'm getting
up very early tomorrow to watch the soccer game...
spending an hour troubleshooting my modem by myself and two hours on
the phone with Dell tech support, I am still unable to dial into the
Internet from my laptop and stay connected for more than two minutes.
(Although this time I did manage to squeeze in the 15 June entry below,
with about 10 seconds to spare before the disconnect.) Dell's going
to send me a new modem; I suppose it could help, although I doubt it.
I'll cross my fingers, though.
today was both a good day and a bad day at work. It had a good start,
after randomly (okay, not all that randomly, we both had to be at work
at 9) running into Matt at the Metro station and walking over to Hart
together. Then, although I spent hours doing very tedious copying and
filing, the eleven of us interns also spent more than an hour in Paul
Wellstone's personal office just chatting with him. It was very cool;
he was very personable and friendly. This is going to be a weekly occurence
until recess starts in August (at which time we can also start wearing
shorts and sandals in the office!).
now I need to get to bed earlier than I did last night, so that I won't
be literally dozing off on the Metro the way I did this morning.
mornings plus long days plus spending over an hour working on site updates
(thanks to the combination of a slow modem connection and having to
use the slow iMac) means a tired Britt who doesn't want to take much
time to write this. Today was fine. Tomorrow, perhaps, there will be
more to say. Apologies for the cop-out.
first day of work means getting up at a time I used to fall asleep (ie
7:30/6:30 Central), which is especially hard after lying awake in bed
for 3 hours before sleep comes. But today was an interesting day of
tours and getting my Senate ID and meeting people. And since it can't
be an internship without photocopying, I spent two hours doing photocopies
which involved bending down over and over again to feed paper in order
to do two-sided copies. But this is overshadowed by the news that I
am getting a completely unexpected $1000 stipend from the office. The
people seem nice, and it should be interesting. I'll expound on the
deep significance of this experience on my political and social thought
whenever I figure out what it is. And while I've been waiting for my
computer problems to abate before writing a new journal entry, I think
I'll just go ahead with it tomorrow. Damn computer.
my family and I went out for a very nice Father's Day brunch at a nice
little place overlooking the Potomac. Then, after an afternoon of fighting
with my laptop to try to get it to connect to the internet (I would've
given it up if I hadn't succeeded in connecting twice-- for all of 5
minutes each time-- out of what must've been fifty-plus tries), my father,
my sister, and I went to see Star Wars. It was enjoyable, pretty good,
although of course much of the fun of it for me was in things that tied
into later movies which non-Star Wars fans wouldn't've enjoyed so much.
Now, I'm watching the end of the Yankee game on ESPN (and looking for
Laura in the crowd!), before heading to bed. Hopefully I can fall asleep
pretty early, despite getting 13 hours of sleep last night, since I
have to get up at 7:30 AM tomorrow for my first day of work. Wish me
while I am indeed writing this before bed on 15 June, it wonít be online
until some point in the future; returning home, Iíve been greeted by
the erraticness of dial-up internet access.
this morning was one of the most chaotic and frustrating in a while.
I slept from about 5:30 until 9:30, having still left a lot of packing
to do in the morning. After returning my library books and searching
in vain for Collegeboxes people, I said goodbye to Kim and then dashed
off to Mailboxes Etc. with an overflowing box of bedding and assorted
things that just would not fit in my suitcases. According to the search
I did, there was supposed to be a Mailboxes Etc. at the end of University
Place; I didnít remember seeing one, but figured there would be. Of
course, there wasnít, so I ended up carrying this bulky load several
blocks. By the time I got back to PARC, threw out piles of things that
just would not fit, and stuffed my things into a semi-manageable state
(the key being ďsemiĒ), Iíd missed my 11:00 shuttle. Of
course, as I realized while trying to lug everything I had, I couldnítíve
made it to the shuttle anyway, because I couldnítíve gotten my extremely
heavy and bulky luggage all the way to Hinman. I
ended up somehow getting it down the stairs, then running over to the
Omni Orrington to get a cab and asking the driver to head down University
first to get my stuff.
we got to OíHare, and the nicest airport employee ever helped me avoid
a $100 extra suitcase charge, everything went smoothly, and Iíve been
home relaxing and watching movies on TV with my sister ever since. (Although
I did suddenly realize while sitting on the plane that Iíd forgotten
to empty and throw out the drawer of ďfood to be thrown out if not eaten
before I leaveĒóoh well.) Iím actually less depressed about being home
now than I have been while anticipating it during the past weeks. But
I donít necessarily expect that to last.
continuing erraticness of my sleep schedule makes the timing of this
entry once again somewhat arbitrary, but I do what I can.
about 9:30 AM until 1:30 PM today, I was busy helping move our stuff
into storage. Nine of us are sharing a storage room, so today we rented
a U-Haul and moved boxes and other things over. By 1:30, when I was
on my 26th hour awake, I had to come back here and conk out for awhile--
I felt guilty about not helping Jen and Katie move their stuff to their
apartment after they'd helped us move our stuff to storage, but I just
couldn't keep my eyes open.
I slept from 1:30 to 5:30 in the afternoon, went to dinner with Kim
and her mom, and then slept again from 8 until 10:30. Since 10:30, I've
been awake, packing stuff to go home, with a break from 1:30 to 3:30
to watch soccer.
it's 5:15, and I'm going to try to sleep for a little bit. But I need
to set my alarm for 7 so I can call Airport Express when they open and
make sure I have a shuttle (which I should've done earlier, I know),
and then go back to sleep and set it again for 9:30 so I can (hopefully)
get a Collegeboxes box to pack my extra stuff in, pack said box, say
goodbye to Kim at 10, bring the box to the post office, drop off my
library books, check out, and catch my shuttle hopefully around 11.
I'll have to wait until tomorrow night, I suppose, to get a chunk of
sleep longer than a couple hours...
one way, I'm not being quite fair, because I typically write these entries
right before I go to bed for the night, but I'm not on my way to bed
for another couple hours yet. However, considering that it is now 9
AM on the 14th, I figured I ought to write this entry eventually. So
I shall arbitrarily end 13 June right now, and the rest of the day can
go in tonight's entry.
today/yesterday was an interesting day. There were some fun parts, like
going out to dinner with Laura and Kim and their parents, and definitely
drunken kickball. (We played drunks vs. sober people and kicked the
drunk people's asses, although we kind of had to to maintain our dignity.
But we all had fun.) There were also definitely moments in which I just
wanted to curl up on my bed and cry.
from about 3 AM to 8 AM, I was busy packing and packing and packing.
It never seems like I have this much stuff during the year, I just realize
it when I'm moving out. Since 8, I've been lugging boxes and suitcases
down. When they get back with the truck and we load the stuff on, then
I can finally go to sleep. Although I really should stop by SOFO first,
and drop off books at the library, and deposit checks...
my bold plan to finally write a paper that I'm really satisfied with
has been at least partially achieved. When I turned in the 20-page paper
for my Sixties class today, I was definitely left thinking, "I could
have done better on this if I'd put more time into it." But at least
it was a "That was pretty good, but I could've done better" kind of
feeling, not a "Wow, I didn't put enough work into this, it should've
been much better" feeling.
I followed up turning the paper in with a day and night full of very
little studying for my exam tomorrow. I don't know, I just felt really
burned out and sick of working on it. It's rather childish of me, really,
to let hours roll by without studying for an exam for which I could
use studying. But I guess I'm just childish sometimes. And in that vein,
I'd like to shout, "It's not fair!" that my friends are leaving already.
There needs to be more time left to spend quality time with everyone,
but of course, there's not.
vast majority of today has been an absolutely wonderful day. I've just
been in a great mood. Singing, dancing, and packing for most of the
afternoon and evening (okay, the packing didn't really start until after
dinner), I just felt happy for no particular reason. And then at midnight,
we got a ton of PARCers out to Deering Field for a game of kickball,
which was a blast, followed by running around in the sprinklers, which
was even better. That was followed by studying and watching the World
Cup, and then I had fun hanging out with a few drunk and non-drunk friends
of mine, especially glad to spend some more time with Scott Medlock
before he's gone for good. (And I'm proud of myself for not drinking
a thing, especially considering what a sucker I am for anything that
tastes like chocolate and mint.) All in all, it's just been a very happy
day, albeit in that sense where you have "this will be over very soon!"
in the back of your head.
of course, moody me, the delightful high that was today cannot last,
and I'm on the brink of crying myself to sleep for no significant reason,
just because I suddenly feel like it. I'm just weird like that...
have discovered a wonderful new way to keep myself productive, which
has been stunningly effective this finals week. Basically, it involves
working for long stretches of time, then interspersing that with working
while watching something on TV. The watching TV part makes it an enjoyable
enough break that I don't get burnt out, but at the same time, the fact
that I'm still working keeps my head in my work and prevents me from
being unable to settle back to work afterwards.
part of why it works so well is how suited these 1:30 AM soccer matches,
which I've watched just about every night since the World Cup started,
are to the strategy. Soccer is a great game for this, because I can
drift in and out of paying total attention, knowing that the people
watching will make enough noise to let me know when there's a scoring
chance. (I may miss some pretty midfield passes, but such is life.)
It's interesting enough to me to be a diversion, plus I enjoy the commentary
of the people around me as well. But I get a decent amount of work done
while I'm watching, and I'm able to get another good hour in afterwards,
too. And thus, I am somehow completely on top of the things I need to
get done this week. Who'd've thunk it?
am pondering the ethical consequences of the fundraiser I attended today.
In some ways, I feel kind of slimy, as if I've done my part to contribute
to a system in which money is a part of political campaigns, which is
something I'm inherently morally opposed to. Then the other part of
me says, "Hey, getting Paul Wellstone re-elected to the Senate is a
good cause." And honestly, while to me it's ridiculous to pay $50 to
spend less than 2 minutes talking to Wellstone and Jan Schakowsky combined,
in the grand scheme of things that's what's considered an "accessible"
fundraiser, and supposedly Wellstone tries really hard to make his fundraisers
similar to this one, casual backyard barbeque types where you only have
to pay $50 to get in. And one thing he said in his speech was important,
that if he loses this race it's going to make Democrats that much more
cautious to run progressive candidates, and we certainly don't need
any more moderate Democrats.
a worthy cause for my money-- well, my dad's money-- to go to, I suppose.
And staying home wouldn't have magically brought us public financing
of elections. But I still feel somewhat uncomfortable that I let myself
be a part of this system I hate so much.
is entirely possible that today I had my most productive day of schoolwork
ever, at least in terms of percentage of the day spent working. Seriously,
after getting up and getting donuts, I had settled down by 1 to start
working, which continued until dinner at 6. I did spend about an hour
of that time working outside, where I was less than 100% focused, but
I was still working. Then, from 7:30-10, I was back to work; although
part of that time was working while watching hockey, it still involved
at least some work. Then I went to Norris, followed by watching the
end of the first period of OT in the hockey game without my work, but
promptly brought it down by 11 and continued working until about 4,
when I finally finished this outline for my paper and stopped to shower.
other words, of the time I've been in the dorm today, and I was out
for less than 2 1/2 hours, I've spent nearly all of it working on this
paper. Even my breaks have been "working on my paper in interesting
and slightly distracting settings," not "hanging out with friends chatting
and then remembering I have work to do." I haven't even played a single
game of spider solitaire since 3 PM, and I only played a game or two
I can say is that, amazing as today was for a person such as myself,
I'd be in awful shape if I hadn't put in that kind of time, considering
how much is still left to do...
I found myself unexplainably overreacting to something that I shouldn't've.
There is absolutely no reason that a silly joke which people wanted
to play on me should bring me to the brink of tears. Oh, I definitely
understand the emotions coming into play which led to me being distraught,
but said emotions should never have been as strong as they somehow seemed
to me at the time. Between the overall moodiness I've felt in the last
month or two, and the time of the month, it's in some ways comprehensible,
but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Especially because it caused
me to become upset at someone in a way proportionate to how I was feeling,
not how things were intended, which was really not fair to that person.
I've always been a person guided more by feelings than by reason, but
I wish I was less swept up by feelings than I have been recently.
I really fail, after forgetting to write this entry last night before
the 6th, was not quite such a productive day as I'd hoped, although
I did get some stuff accomplished. I was happy about the fireside, though.
We managed to have 9 of us go, despite the fact that so many people
had work to do, which is really good turnout for a spring fireside.
And it was fun, too. It makes me feel like less of an utter failure
at my academic chair duties. If I want to continue feeling like less
of a failure (okay, there's got to be a better way to phrase that),
I need to start thinking of and getting in touch with people for firesides
in the fall. Honestly, spring firesides are good but when you get down
to them they're just extras. In the fall, firesides are going to actually
be attended, and it's important that they be interesting to draw the
freshmen in. So if anyone has any ideas, let me know!
a long start to the day at Norris (11 until 5), I had a very
enjoyable communal PARC evening which reminds me of all the reasons
why I'm sad summer's coming. The talent show was of course a great fun
experience, a roomful of PARCers having a good time, laughing at and
with eachother. (Although I must admit that I didn't quite realize what
I'd gotten myself into when I volunteered to help lead the singalong
of our crude version of "The Little Mermaid," since Eileen didn't want
to sing and no one else knew all the words, until I was standing in
front of a room of people, singing, all by myself, "Look at my breasts,
aren't they pert? Even a blind man would look up my skirt." Luckily,
everyone else joined in after that point.) And then afterwards a good
10 of us watched the Senegal-Denmark soccer game in the TV lounge.
was just an all-around evening of happy PARC-ness, enjoying time with
people who I'm not necessarily close friends with yet who make up my
community here. On the plus side, most of the people who I think of
when I think of PARC will be back next year. But there will be some
faces missing, and I don't want to give it up for the summer, in any
event. Give it up I must, but I'll enjoy it while I've got it.
I attended the last classes of my sophomore year. Granted, I still have
two more papers to write, one to heavily revise, and an exam to study
for, but the actual sitting in class part is over until September.
also come to the conclusion that it will not quite cut it if I start
packing my room Thursday afternoon for transport to storage the following
day, even if I stay up all night. (Plus, that would make it harder to
stay up all night Friday night, which will be a necessity considering
that my room will be packed away by nightfall.) So I suppose I ought
to intersperse cleaning and packing with writing papers over the next
really wish my mom were coming to help me pack like she did last year.
I swear that she can fit things into half the space I pack them into.
Plus, she could conveniently work on it while I was writing papers and
studying for my final. But alas, this is not the case. So I must roll
up my sleeves and tackle my room myself. Wish me luck; I'll need it.
I fail. My bold strategy was to come up with a thesis statement for
my paper while I was in the shower, but instead I spent the whole time
composing this entry in my head. I'm tired, though, so the thesis will
have to wait.]
I've been thinking about my friendships with girls. This has come to
mind because the last two nights in a row I've spent more than an hour
just having some good conversations with a couple of female friends
of mine. (Actually, the night before that, I spent probably almost that
long talking to two more female friends of mine. But those were issue-centered
and under duress, and thus not quite so pleasant, which was not the
fault of the women involved.)
really never been good with building close relationships with female
friends, which is a shame because girls always seem to outnumber guys
in my groups. I'd like to believe that that might be changing, although
I'm not ready to jump to that conclusion yet. It'd be nice to build
strong friendships with some of the women around here. Friendships with
girls might not be as intense, but they seem to be a hell of a lot more
stable. Meredith has been my best female friend for five years this
July, despite the fact that we rarely see eachother and only talk intermittently.
while guys can be intense and really close good friends, they don't
seem to be that good at being constant about it. I don't know if it's
me or the particular series of guys I've been friends with, but it's
hard sometimes. I could use some stability. Bring on the women!
today's a better day than yesterday, for a number of reasons, which
I'm not going to expound upon here because I'm tired. In fact, I'm so
tired that this is going to be quite short.
however, eulogize our soccer season. We had a good last game of the
year today, despite the score of 6-0. We played well, especially considering
how short-handed we were. I really had a lot of fun with soccer this
spring. I've come a long way from the week where I had to force myself
to stay out on the field. I've enjoyed myself, I've gotten better, and
I wish it wasn't over. I'm actually seriously looking into figuring
out if there's some way I can play soccer over the summer-- my dad knows
about some pick-up leagues in the area. But in any event, I'm already
looking forward to next spring. I'm thinking about possibly playing
floor hockey in the winter, to expand my IM horizons, but it just won't
be the same.
am so frustrated I want to cry. I HATE it when my friends aren't
happy with eachother, I HATE it when people are judging eachother
unfairly and perceiving things in a slanted way because of their emotions,
I HATE seeing things spiral in ways that may be unable to be
fixed, and I HATE, HATE, HATE being powerless to
help. But I'll still try, no matter how impossible the situations may
be, but all the trying does is make me unhappier. Why
can't people understand eachother the way I understand them? Why can't
people love eachother the way I love them? Why can't people see the
good, special, beautiful parts of eachother that I see, but instead
insist on seeing the worst in eachother because of their own personal
emotional hang-ups? And why oh why don't I have the power to make you
see eachother like I see you? I can see the flaws in each of you and
the things that upset, annoy, infuriate other people. But I love you
anyway. Is it impossible for any of you to be able to do that? Maybe
it is, and I'll have to accept that and walk away. But I'll walk away