~Forgotten Wings~

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31 May-- Amazingly enough, I have actually been productive tonight. I got 4 pages written of the 16 I need to write this weekend. I really shouldn't pat myself on the back for it, though. We're getting towards the end of the quarter, and being productive shouldn't be something special and notable, but it instead needs to be normal and required. Especially if I'm going to have the time to really work hard and make my long paper for The Sixties something I can be proud of. I'll be really disappointed in myself if I can't do that. But to do it, I need to work on beating the lazy and procrastinatory tendencies of mine that lead me to put things off and then do sloppy work. It's honestly vaguely amazing that I wrote 4 pages tonight of a paper that's not technically due for another whole week. Perhaps this is a sign that I'm developing enough willpower to improve my work habits...


30 May-- It never ceases to amaze me how many hours I spend working on the Protest. I was at Fisk again tonight, not getting back until quarter to 2. Of course, it didn't help that I (and several others) showed up, after I expressly asked Chris what time we were meeting, at 9:30, while Chris, Mischa, and Jake didn't get there with the disk until 11. That was pretty frustrating, but I felt bad that Mischa was within earshot of most of my grumblings while Chris, who I was primarily annoyed with, stayed oblivious. Especially since it felt like Mischa and I were doing most of the actual work.

Anyway, we're still not done, but hopefully it'll only take one more evening to get it done. And that evening will not be for a few days, which is bad in that it means that we won't get this issue distributed until after CAS classes end, but good in that I have this weekend open to get work done. I really, really, really want to be responsible about my work (and packing!) this quarter, and get things done and done well without stressing. Perhaps this is an unrealistic goal, but I'll shoot for it nonetheless. But spending 3-4 hours a night working on the Protest definitely hampers the effort.


29 May-- Okay, so Comiskey sells out on half-price Monday Memorial Days against the Yankees. On regular-price Wednesdays against the Yankees, they sell about 20,000 tickets. Thus my gesture of not completely scrimping on tickets in redeeming Alex's Date Auction date was for naught, since we could have bought upper deck reserve tickets for less and moved down to any of the many empty upper deck box seats.

Ah, well. Still a great game. The Yankees are down 3-1 in the ninth? No matter. Just work the bases loaded (good job, Jete), get Bernie to rifle one into right to tie the score, and then when Giambi comes up, instead of a little single to knock in the go-ahead run, he'll hit a mammoth three-run homer. Ah, my Yankees. I just wish I could've seen it in the Bronx.

In other news, I have developed a sudden and in all likelihood completely unfounded paranoia that I'm developing mono. This is particularly odd, since I exhibit no symptoms, other than that my throat is sore in such a slight way that I doubt I'd notice it were I not trying (but of course I do notice!). Nonetheless, I've been paying careful attention to all the feelings in my abdomen, trying to imagine what an enlarged spleen would feel like despite having not the vaguest clue where my spleen is located. I'm sure I don't have it, but if I do, I'll be able to congratulate myself for having astutely noticed the earliest signs.

Now, at 3:22, with any luck, I'll get to fall asleep for the first time in almost a week without needing the handy blindfold they gave me on the plane to Israel to keep out the morning sun.


28 May--Vive le PARC!!!!! Our soccer team notched PARC's first IM win of the year tonight-- in the playoffs!

Okay, so the only "scoring" in the game was the goal they awarded us because our opponents showed up late. But we played a great game to keep them from scoring, and we actually got a couple of shots on goal, too. Plus, this means that we are now advancing to the third round of the playoffs without having scored a goal all season, which amuses me. (We had a bye in the first round.)

The game was really fun, though. There was most definitely an air of urgency that hasn't been present in any other game I played, which was exciting. I think I played pretty well, too. Doubling my season target, I headed the ball for a second time (again, I'm not so good at controlling where it goes off my head, but hey, at least I gave our players more time to get into position), and I was pretty agressive and did a lot of challenging. And a little bird told me that some people were impressed by how I played, which makes me happy. ;-) Plus, I drank mass quantities of water beforehand, which led to me not feeling particularly exhausted despite the size of the field.

I am really psyched about Sunday-- hopefully we can get most of our key players to make it, although there are questions right now. But even if not, it'll be fun.


27 May-- Note to self: Next time you tell yourself "Comiskey never sells out!", be sure you know what you're talking about. Comiskey did indeed sell out tonight, to the astonishment of Laura and myself as well as everyone else waiting on line to try to buy tickets. This led to us seeking out scalpers in order to get into the game. We paid $20 each for $6 seats-- I was going to try to bargain them down, but it's hard when Laura pulls out her wallet and starts to say, "No, Britt, I have money if you need any extra."

The whole escapade caused me to miss part of the Yankees' 6-run first inning. (Yes, 6-run first inning. Not to be confused with their 6-run fifth inning against Boston yesterday.) Luckily, although our tickets were for the very last row in the upper deck, we snagged ourselves some good seats right behind home plate three rows back from the railing of the upper deck. So we watched the Yankees crush the White Sox, Robin Ventura at least got a sacrifice fly for Laura's sake, and the weather was much nicer than at the freezing Cubs game in April. But I still miss Yankee Stadium...


26 May-- If anyone needs any further proof that I am indeed an absurd individual, today I've been struck by an odd sense of guilt about being healthy. No, seriously. I've never been a person who gets sick very often at all. I'll usually get some sort of nasal congestion at least once a year, but that's about the extent of it. So when I see someone suffering like Colleen is right now, it strikes me as very unfair, especially since she's been sick a number of other times this year. I mean, beyond a few hours once a month (which, granted, can be very uncomfortable), I haven't had to put up with very much physical discomfort in recent memory. This offends my sense of justice, and leads me to apologize to people like Colleen because I can ingest liquids without acute pain. Of course, this also goes up at the very top of the list of things that I have absolutely no power to change.


25 May-- Ah, Dillo Day.

For those not from Northwestern, Dillo Day is a day full of concerts and an excuse (as if anyone needs one) to get drunk and high; many around me promptly obliged. I didn't. Something I've learned from both the only time I was ever drunk and another time when I was almost drunk is that alcohol leads to me doing and saying things I wouldn't choose to when sober. And while sometimes inhibitions are a problem, they generally serve the useful purpose of stopping you from doing what you don't want to do, so trying to get rid of them is not really a wise move. While it's kind of fun and silly to be drinking, it's totally not worth risking saying or doing something I'll regret. So I don't want to ever get drunk again (which I decided last spring), and I need to work on being more careful to drink lightly if I do drink (new resolution for this spring).

But that's just me. I don't think less of anyone who wants to get drunk occasionally (although I may as a result of things they do while drunk, or if it's something they do all the time). I find it rather amusing, in fact. As long as it's not me!


24 May-- Today, I went from running around getting sweaty and bruised on the soccer field, to getting all dressed up and heading off to a restaraunt for a fancy dinner, in all of a few hours. I fully enjoyed both very different experiences in their own ways. We played Taboo when we got back, and then Kathy tried to teach me to dance and we talked for a while. All in all, a very good day, especially considering that as of 3:45 (near-precisely 12 hours ago, by my clock) I was feeling rather out-of-sorts and unhappy. It's good that I got some fun stuff in today, since I have a lot to get done this weekend. I really, really should get some schoolwork done before I get overwhelmed with it next weekend, but at the minimum, I insist that I get all the non-schoolwork things on my to-do list taken care of. That means cleaning my room (a big job) and doing a number of Peace Project-related things. At least if I stay busy, I won't have to think about how soon the end of the year is...


23 May-- I've been really moody lately. At some points in the day, I'll feel cheerful and enjoy things like music and the weather. And then I'll suddenly feel really upset or depressed or stressed out or irritated. I just wrote a vaguely ridiculous journal entry that I couldn't've imagined writing a few hours ago, because I'm suddenly in the mood that I believe it vehemently. There are other people with problems that are so much more serious than mine that I have no excuse not to be upbeat and happy all the time. Instead, I'm stressing out about the things that I have to get done that I can't even keep track of because of how disorganized I am, and I'm being pretty emotionally unsteady. Is this too deep a paragraph for this page? I better stop.


22 May-- Well, at least the Key Event's done with. Not that I was spending excessive amounts of time on it, but it's nice not to have to worry about it anymore. Of course, I'm somewhat disappointed by the turnout, and despite what everyone else says, I feel bad that we ordered that many pizzas. Oh, well. Spring Key Events are always hard to get people excited about. But I have indeed held a Key Event this quarter. And I've also finally scheduled a fireside, so I feel better about fulfilling my academic chair duties. (I had a bad case of "Oh, this is an easy job that I don't need to do anything for" at the beginning of the quarter once I was not a philanthropy chair anymore.) Plus, I've done lots of stuff for our boat reception. And I think all of the details of that are pretty much done, save talking to the bus people. It's nice to check a few things off of my mental to-do list... especially since I'm never quite sure what's actually on the to-do list, just a pressing sense that there are things I need to do but can't remember. I need more organization in my life.


21 May-- It turned out that we didn't have a soccer game tonight, and that our playoff game will be next Tuesday instead. This actually made me happy, because it means the season will go on at least another week. We scrimmaged instead for an hour and a half. I am glad to report I am solidly winning the battle to have fun playing soccer. And I think I'm improving, too-- I was in on a lot of action tonight and made a number of good plays, plus I actually headed the ball for the first time all season! I want to keep getting better, and I want to keep having fun; I don't want the season to end. Playing soccer with PARC has been one of the best decisions I've made in a long time.

 

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Last updated 3 March, 2003
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Intellectual Property Rights denounced by Britt Gordon-McKeon, 2002