an excellent day. (Pay no attention to the to-do list behind the curtain!)
a place to live this summer! After touring DU this afternoon, which
was seriously sketchy and frightened me, I was a little bit worried.
But then I got to see the cutest little two-bedroom on Clark, near Buff
Joe's. I liked it a lot, and the girl I'm subletting it from agreed
to let me have it for $800 for the summer plus utilities, which we calculated
are around $45 a month. I am ever so pleased. The only tiny catch is
that the previous tenants' lease ends on June 30, and they're not sure
how much earlier than that they'll move out, so I may have some issues
finding a place to lay my head for up to a week or so. But c'est la
vie. Presumably I can find someone's floor to crash on for a couple
a less consequential but still cool note, I went grocery shopping up
at Lisa's Cafe tonight. I bought, among other things, spaghetti, macaroni
and cheese, soup, refried beans, peanut butter, and salad dressing.
I am ever so pleased that my excess meal plan money can go towards the
good cause of lowering my summer grocery bill, and I have at least $150
more I can spend. Woo hoo!
Tomorrow I'll be really productive. Really.
May-- (Fine, so it's 21 hours since it was 15 May. Shut up!)
a busy and mostly fun evening! We played Diplomacy for the first time
in three weeks, and I ended up in a vastly better position than I'd
expected coming in, thanks to the fact that someone new took over playing
Russia and broke up the alliance which was ganging up on me. Then there
was an NSAS meeting and a Take Back NU meeting.
then? Then I pretended I was a normal college student, and started drinking.
After I had one over-sized bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade, we headed
out and hit Prairie Moon. I had their Lemon Drop, a shot of vodka mixed
with something else, which wasn't that great but more importantly cost
$2. We watched the end of the Kings' game, in which I tried to summon
interest for my sister's sake, and decided to move on. We were going
to try the Keg, but there was a long line outside, and as we have actual
valid IDs and thus multiple options, ducked into Bar Louie next door
instead. Everyone there was old, and the drinks were expensive, although
when we decided to share a beer that was a special for $3, the waiter
(waiter!) gave us one "on him," so even after I tipped him
it only worked out to $2 a drink. (Don't knock my penny-pinching until
after I successfully make it through the next six weeks financially!)
Of course, then I had to drink a whole beer, which was gross, but Alex
bet me I couldn't finish mine before he finished his, and I totally
that was slightly more than 3 drinks for me, and yet I did not in fact
get drunk. If my tolerance is increasing, that's most disappointing,
as I am a big fan of the economic efficiency of being a lightweight.
This is not to say I had not drunk enough to be silly, considering that
Alex and I managed an extended conversation about what would happen
if my wedding was the same day as the Packers played in the Super Bowl,
prompted by an off-hand comment by Colleen. (Me: "Of course you'd
come to my wedding, right?" Alex: "But it wouldn't really
happen anyway. Who wants a winter wedding?" Me: "Well, what
if it had to be in the winter, and Super Bowl weekend was the only time
the venue was available? What would you do?" Alex: "Why would
it have to be in the winter?" Me: "Just say it did. What would
you do?" Alex: "I'd probably come to your wedding, but it
doesn't matter, since it's not going to happen." Me: "Probably?!?
I'm not as important to you as football?" Alex: "It's not
just football, it's the Packers." Me: "Who are a football
team! You would rather watch them play than come to my wedding?"
Alex: "Not just play, but it's the Super Bowl!" Me: "I'm
not as important to you as the Super Bowl?" Alex: "Not just
the Super Bowl, the Packers in the Super Bowl. I'd probably go to your
wedding anyway. But just don't have it during the Super Bowl. Winter
weddings are silly anyway." We then continue in this cycle for
another 15 minutes, and the insanity doesn't end until past 4 AM.)
bill passed ASG easily. Now I have to remind myself that that hasn't actually
done anything. The whole getting-the-admin-to-set-up-the-committee part
is still ahead.
quarter was supposed to be easier and less stressful than last quarter.
want to dwell on that, though, so instead I'll give you some recent
search terms that brought people to my site. "Katie K. porn,"
the third result through German Google. "Kim Sacramento porn,"
my site is result eleven. "Farmhouse friends fucking," result
six. Who are these people?
Urg, urg, urg. I'm not kidding.
another note, I am becoming more and more tempted to sublet a room in
an apartment for the summer instead of living in the frats. There's
one I might be able to get for $950 for the whole summer, which is only
$150 more than the frats (or DU, anyway). It has a much better location,
and would be closer to any job I get in downtown Evanston as well as
to PARC for moving, and more or less the same distance to IPR and the
library. And it would mean having a real kitchen instead of having to
share a frat kitchen with tons of people. I'm guessing it'd be calmer
and I wouldn't have to worry about sketchy frat stuff, although there'd
be less privacy in terms of the girl with the other bedroom. Oh, and
I wouldn't have to pay it all up front. On the other hand, it
is $150 more expensive, which is like 20 extra hours worth of
work just going into rent. Sigh. What to do?
tomorrow. I'm nervous. I'm sure I'll find a way to screw up, and the
bill will be defeated. You'd think someone all activist-y and challenging
authority-y would be better at overcoming stage fright. Well, I'm working
becoming overwhelmed with thesis thoughts. The Alex voice on one shoulder
says, "You've wanted to write a thesis for a long time, you'll be
disappointed in yourself if you don't. You can do it." The Colleen
voice on the other shoulder says, "You procrastinate and stress yourself
out with small assignments; what's a long, intense thesis with tons of
work going to do to you?" And I say, "Arrrgh! You're right!
You're right! You're both right! I can't win! What am I going to do?"
Then I start browsing random sites for hours for no discernable reason,
and kick myself at the end of the day.
are plenty of very decent thesis topics I could choose. Whatever I pick
probably won't be what I end up with, anyway, so I don't need to be
as picky as I'm being. If I take a deep breath, and if I want to, it
shouldn't be hard to come up with a proposal in plenty of time for the
deadline next Friday.
course, I can't do much on that tomorrow, as I've got to make up for
the absolutely zero time spent on actual classwork today, in favor of
staring off into space ostensibly making progress towards a thesis topic.
The end result being that I'm thinking about education and literacy
slightly more strongly than at the beginning of the evening. Yep, that's
For a number of reasons, ranging from stupid to very, very important,
I have not come up with a thesis topic yet. Soon.
AM is an ungodly hour to get up. But get up I did, and went off to the
DERU Advance, which was rather disappointing, not that I expected it to
be fascinating. A lot of it's my own fault, for not having enough backbone
to take hold of conversations when there are individuals dominating them.
But it all ended up being fairly superficial, although admittedly better
than nothing. I've come to the conclusion that some group or other, be
it DERU or Take Back NU or whatever else, needs to organize some sort
of forum with the whole campus to get people talking about community and
the undergraduate experience. Groups of "special people" in
rooms are bound to be of very limited use.
fall embarassingly short of accomplishing my goals today, but I didn't
do that well, either. I'm close to finishing a rough draft of my short
story, which is pleasantly surprising, but I didn't do nearly enough
on my history paper. And nothing at all for my thesis, because tomorrow
is thesis-narrowing-down day.
however, spend a very nice hour or two down in 1 Brown playing Celebrity
(ie, the game where you write down famous people's names on slips of
paper, pull them out of a hat, and try to get your partner to guess
them) with Scott, Colleen, Kathy, Eileen, and Jack. Much hilarity ensued.
So, that's something good to take away from the day.
In fairness to myself, I've accomplished a lot today. I did 2 1/2 hours
of work-study before dinner, did reading for my history paper for 3 hours
at Norris, and avoided writers' block and came up with a few pages of
my short story for fiction class. That's why it's disturbing how much
more I have left to do this weekend. I'm hoping to get all the non-thesis
stuff finished as quickly as possible, since I know that thinking up a
proposal can suck up all available time, and then absolutely force myself
to make some sort of decision about the thesis topic by the end of Sunday.
It's getting ridiculous.
yeah. Super-productive weekend, coming right up. Please.
Must not forget to mention that, to the benefit of us all, Casey Newton
has returned to the web, preparing to dazzle Newtonline aficionados
with the shiny new Newt:Case.
Many thanks to Dan Murtaugh for the shameless publicity in the Daily;
NU students everywhere rejoice.
read it, you fools! It's certainly much better than my site!
Am very tired. Did not get enough work done. Do not care to say anything
sublease signed today! Entire rent covered for 2026 Maple for 3 months.
ASG meeting tonight. I talked about the bill and answered questions. I
had no idea what the hell I was doing, and don't really know how it went,
but a number of people told me it went well. Of course, they could just
be saying that. But I guess I'll take their word for it. They seem to
think it will pass, which is good, although after my funding experience
no one is going to get me to just trust that things will come out right
bored in class today, and instead of just doodling, I suddenly came
up with the idea of making wedding guest lists. Yes, this may be the
most random thing ever, as there is absolutely no likelihood of me getting
married in the remotely near future, nor do I want to. It wasn't an
"Ooh, weddings, romantic" sort of thing, it was more of a
"Hmm, it would be interesting to make lists and add up numbers
and sort names into tiered levels. More interesting than lecture, anyway."
So I spent an hour coming up with different-sized wedding guest lists,
from 12, which I calculate is the bare minimum of people who have to
be at my wedding, to 80, which includes hypothetical spouses for all
people on the list who might get married in the next 10 years. (The
cut-off is my 12-year-old cousin, because it would just be weird if
she got married before me.) I had four tiers, and I was thinking of
making a fifth list when class ended. God, I am so weird.
Okay. So according to my professor, I should be able to
work for him this summer. But not for the whole summer-- just from July
7 to August 15. So now I've just got to figure out what to do for the
eight weeks surrounding it. (This of course resulted in me spending an
embarassing number of hours trying to look for jobs online, despite knowing
after a half-hour I'd found out everything I could find out.)
a couple hours using JSTOR to brainstorm
thesis ideas. Very minor progress.
NSAS bill went through rules committee tonight. Tomorrow it goes to
the full senate, where it'll just be presented and people will ask questions,
no debate or voting till next week. I get way too nervous about these
things. I'm thanking my lucky stars for having Tamara to help out with
all of this.
and my most productive academic work of the evening was on someone else's
assignment. But I think translating and interpreting Spanish poetry
is actually kinda cool, despite Alex's loathing of it. I'd pick that
over all this memorizing of grammar and vocabulary (I know, I know,
it's important!) any day!
We've hopefully taken one big step towards having some of the hassles
figured out; we now have a verbal committment to sublet our apartment,
so when we actually get the document signed, that's 3 months' rent taken
off our hands, which is nice. But despite that weight in the process of
lifting, I still feel incredibly stressed. Thinking about my thesis is
freaking me out, and there's a part of me that is trying desperately to
convince myself that it's a horrible idea and I really shouldn't write
one at all. It's not good how much I'm listening to it.
job, summer housing, NSAS bill, various schoolwork-- arrrrgh! And I'm
letting this get to me despite the fact that I should have enough time
to take care of everything in a relaxed manner if I could just breathe
and be rational. I need to figure out a way to calm down.
was supposed to be a weekend where my light workload meant I could get
ahead on things and be on top of everything I need to be on top of. Instead,
it was a weekend where my light workload meant I could fill literally
hours searching for potential summer jobs. There's so much
to figure out that I don't want to even think about but really have to--
subletting, a job, my thesis, and much more-- that I want to just hide
in a cave somewhere.
other news-- happy birthday Kim! We celebrated by going to a most excellent
Persian restaurant, all 13 of us. The food was very tasty, although
unlike Alex I could not finish all of my meal. Instead, I took not only
my dill rice, but everyone else's dill rice, home in an almost overflowing
not want tomorrow to be Monday. You can get away with putting things
off during the weekend, but when the week starts again, you have to
deal with life. Damn life.
Dammit!!! Very depressing and disappointing news today.
I've been planning for a long time to stay in Evanston this summer and
work as a research assistant to my work-study prof. Yes, I applied for
internships in DC, but I knew I very well might not get them (and I
didn't), and might've chosen to stay in Evanston anyway. However, waiting
to hear back from the last of them, I hadn't officially confirmed with
the professor until this week. It never occurred to me that this would
be a problem, because he'd assured me for months that he wanted me to
work for him and there'd be a job for me if I wanted one. He did say,
"Let me know as soon as possible," but he certainly never
actually asked for a committment at any particular date. And I've told
him all through April, "I'll be able to confirm soon, after I hear
back from these places. In all likelihood, I'll be working with you,
I just want to hear from these places. The fact that I haven't heard
from them yet means that I almost surely haven't gotten the internships,
so I'll probably be working for you."
I give him the official committment yesterday by e-mail. Today I get
an e-mail back, saying, "So, I checked my funds, and I don't seem
to have enough money to pay you. I thought you were working in DC. I
wish you'd told me this a few weeks ago. I'm sorry."
and utterly unexpected, and tremendously disappointing. This kind of
shatters my well-laid plans for the summer. Either go home and spend
the summer in a meaningless (but well-paying) job, earn a bunch of money,
and be bored out of my mind night and day-- or try to find a job here,
which I can't imagine being anything other than meaningless at this
point and would probably not pay enough for me to save a whole lot after
paying rent, but at least have lots of time to enjoy with my friends.
I am very much leaning towards the latter, provided that I can actually
find said job, but I don't know how the hell I'm going to manage to
justify it to my parents, who will probably be upset with me. And I'll
have to figure out housing really soon if I'm staying, but I won't know
if I can stay until I find a job...
It's not fair!!! How could the professor do this to me? :-(
baseball. We squeezed into Nate's car and headed north towards Milwaukee
at around 4:30 today, a little behind schedule, and thanks to traffic
we didn't end up arriving until shortly before the game began-- so no
chance to see Coney for me, sadly. The game was entertaining enough; the
Brewers managed to make the Mets-- who, trust me, are very, very bad--
look good, and pitched and fielded horribly. Miller Park was pretty empty
and unexcited. But it was fun, as well as very, very cheap, as in under
$5 for ticket, parking, gas and tolls. There was also the $2.75 french
fries, more expensive than my ticket, because the discount $1 hot dogs
were obviously not an option.
and I almost forgot. I got hit on by an usher. He finished telling Scott
and Justin that it was okay for us to stay down by the field where we
were sitting, and then turned to me and said, "And you're
coming with me," and held out his hand to me. Old man. Very creepy.)
I meant to get this entry written last night, really I did. I also meant
to set up the new template and start a May page. But I ended up staying
awake to help Alex with his Spanish essay until 5:30, which is perfectly
reasonable in theory considering my before-2PM Friday classes were canceled,
but in practice meant that since I'd gotten 4 hours of sleep the night
before and 5 hours the night before that and had been up for 21 hours,
my head was aching and swirling and I kept dozing off with Alex having
to shake me awake so I could look at another sentence. I was asleep within
2 minutes of finally getting back to my room, which is remarkable for
me since it's odd for me to fall asleep within 15 minutes, even. But yeah,
writing was not happening.
it had, I would've been able to tell you about Professional Strength
Kank-a, the strange liquid which I got at Osco which numbed out half
of my mouth so that I wouldn't have to feel the wisdom tooth sore. Bizarre,
but effective. However, after applying it twice, my throat started to
become extremely sore. A definitive link has not been established, but
I'm afraid this stuff will be a trade-one-sort-of-pain-for-another thing,