~Forgotten Wings~

Thoughts of the Day Deep Thoughts Friends Writings Links ... And More

16 May-- Ah, an excellent day. (Pay no attention to the to-do list behind the curtain!)

I have a place to live this summer! After touring DU this afternoon, which was seriously sketchy and frightened me, I was a little bit worried. But then I got to see the cutest little two-bedroom on Clark, near Buff Joe's. I liked it a lot, and the girl I'm subletting it from agreed to let me have it for $800 for the summer plus utilities, which we calculated are around $45 a month. I am ever so pleased. The only tiny catch is that the previous tenants' lease ends on June 30, and they're not sure how much earlier than that they'll move out, so I may have some issues finding a place to lay my head for up to a week or so. But c'est la vie. Presumably I can find someone's floor to crash on for a couple days.

On a less consequential but still cool note, I went grocery shopping up at Lisa's Cafe tonight. I bought, among other things, spaghetti, macaroni and cheese, soup, refried beans, peanut butter, and salad dressing. I am ever so pleased that my excess meal plan money can go towards the good cause of lowering my summer grocery bill, and I have at least $150 more I can spend. Woo hoo!

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be really productive. Really.


15 May-- (Fine, so it's 21 hours since it was 15 May. Shut up!)

Such a busy and mostly fun evening! We played Diplomacy for the first time in three weeks, and I ended up in a vastly better position than I'd expected coming in, thanks to the fact that someone new took over playing Russia and broke up the alliance which was ganging up on me. Then there was an NSAS meeting and a Take Back NU meeting.

And then? Then I pretended I was a normal college student, and started drinking. After I had one over-sized bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade, we headed out and hit Prairie Moon. I had their Lemon Drop, a shot of vodka mixed with something else, which wasn't that great but more importantly cost $2. We watched the end of the Kings' game, in which I tried to summon interest for my sister's sake, and decided to move on. We were going to try the Keg, but there was a long line outside, and as we have actual valid IDs and thus multiple options, ducked into Bar Louie next door instead. Everyone there was old, and the drinks were expensive, although when we decided to share a beer that was a special for $3, the waiter (waiter!) gave us one "on him," so even after I tipped him it only worked out to $2 a drink. (Don't knock my penny-pinching until after I successfully make it through the next six weeks financially!) Of course, then I had to drink a whole beer, which was gross, but Alex bet me I couldn't finish mine before he finished his, and I totally did.

So that was slightly more than 3 drinks for me, and yet I did not in fact get drunk. If my tolerance is increasing, that's most disappointing, as I am a big fan of the economic efficiency of being a lightweight. This is not to say I had not drunk enough to be silly, considering that Alex and I managed an extended conversation about what would happen if my wedding was the same day as the Packers played in the Super Bowl, prompted by an off-hand comment by Colleen. (Me: "Of course you'd come to my wedding, right?" Alex: "But it wouldn't really happen anyway. Who wants a winter wedding?" Me: "Well, what if it had to be in the winter, and Super Bowl weekend was the only time the venue was available? What would you do?" Alex: "Why would it have to be in the winter?" Me: "Just say it did. What would you do?" Alex: "I'd probably come to your wedding, but it doesn't matter, since it's not going to happen." Me: "Probably?!? I'm not as important to you as football?" Alex: "It's not just football, it's the Packers." Me: "Who are a football team! You would rather watch them play than come to my wedding?" Alex: "Not just play, but it's the Super Bowl!" Me: "I'm not as important to you as the Super Bowl?" Alex: "Not just the Super Bowl, the Packers in the Super Bowl. I'd probably go to your wedding anyway. But just don't have it during the Super Bowl. Winter weddings are silly anyway." We then continue in this cycle for another 15 minutes, and the insanity doesn't end until past 4 AM.)


14 May-- The bill passed ASG easily. Now I have to remind myself that that hasn't actually done anything. The whole getting-the-admin-to-set-up-the-committee part is still ahead.

This quarter was supposed to be easier and less stressful than last quarter. What happened?

I don't want to dwell on that, though, so instead I'll give you some recent search terms that brought people to my site. "Katie K. porn," the third result through German Google. "Kim Sacramento porn," my site is result eleven. "Farmhouse friends fucking," result six. Who are these people?


13 May-- Urg. Urg, urg, urg. I'm not kidding.

On another note, I am becoming more and more tempted to sublet a room in an apartment for the summer instead of living in the frats. There's one I might be able to get for $950 for the whole summer, which is only $150 more than the frats (or DU, anyway). It has a much better location, and would be closer to any job I get in downtown Evanston as well as to PARC for moving, and more or less the same distance to IPR and the library. And it would mean having a real kitchen instead of having to share a frat kitchen with tons of people. I'm guessing it'd be calmer and I wouldn't have to worry about sketchy frat stuff, although there'd be less privacy in terms of the girl with the other bedroom. Oh, and I wouldn't have to pay it all up front. On the other hand, it is $150 more expensive, which is like 20 extra hours worth of work just going into rent. Sigh. What to do?

ASG tomorrow. I'm nervous. I'm sure I'll find a way to screw up, and the bill will be defeated. You'd think someone all activist-y and challenging authority-y would be better at overcoming stage fright. Well, I'm working on it.


12 May-- Am becoming overwhelmed with thesis thoughts. The Alex voice on one shoulder says, "You've wanted to write a thesis for a long time, you'll be disappointed in yourself if you don't. You can do it." The Colleen voice on the other shoulder says, "You procrastinate and stress yourself out with small assignments; what's a long, intense thesis with tons of work going to do to you?" And I say, "Arrrgh! You're right! You're right! You're both right! I can't win! What am I going to do?" Then I start browsing random sites for hours for no discernable reason, and kick myself at the end of the day.

There are plenty of very decent thesis topics I could choose. Whatever I pick probably won't be what I end up with, anyway, so I don't need to be as picky as I'm being. If I take a deep breath, and if I want to, it shouldn't be hard to come up with a proposal in plenty of time for the deadline next Friday.

Of course, I can't do much on that tomorrow, as I've got to make up for the absolutely zero time spent on actual classwork today, in favor of staring off into space ostensibly making progress towards a thesis topic. The end result being that I'm thinking about education and literacy slightly more strongly than at the beginning of the evening. Yep, that's it.

Curses.


11 May-- For a number of reasons, ranging from stupid to very, very important, I have not come up with a thesis topic yet. Soon.

10 May-- 7:30 AM is an ungodly hour to get up. But get up I did, and went off to the DERU Advance, which was rather disappointing, not that I expected it to be fascinating. A lot of it's my own fault, for not having enough backbone to take hold of conversations when there are individuals dominating them. But it all ended up being fairly superficial, although admittedly better than nothing. I've come to the conclusion that some group or other, be it DERU or Take Back NU or whatever else, needs to organize some sort of forum with the whole campus to get people talking about community and the undergraduate experience. Groups of "special people" in rooms are bound to be of very limited use.

I didn't fall embarassingly short of accomplishing my goals today, but I didn't do that well, either. I'm close to finishing a rough draft of my short story, which is pleasantly surprising, but I didn't do nearly enough on my history paper. And nothing at all for my thesis, because tomorrow is thesis-narrowing-down day.

I did, however, spend a very nice hour or two down in 1 Brown playing Celebrity (ie, the game where you write down famous people's names on slips of paper, pull them out of a hat, and try to get your partner to guess them) with Scott, Colleen, Kathy, Eileen, and Jack. Much hilarity ensued. So, that's something good to take away from the day.


9 May-- In fairness to myself, I've accomplished a lot today. I did 2 1/2 hours of work-study before dinner, did reading for my history paper for 3 hours at Norris, and avoided writers' block and came up with a few pages of my short story for fiction class. That's why it's disturbing how much more I have left to do this weekend. I'm hoping to get all the non-thesis stuff finished as quickly as possible, since I know that thinking up a proposal can suck up all available time, and then absolutely force myself to make some sort of decision about the thesis topic by the end of Sunday. It's getting ridiculous.

So, yeah. Super-productive weekend, coming right up. Please.

P.S. Must not forget to mention that, to the benefit of us all, Casey Newton has returned to the web, preparing to dazzle Newtonline aficionados with the shiny new Newt:Case. Many thanks to Dan Murtaugh for the shameless publicity in the Daily; NU students everywhere rejoice.

Go read it, you fools! It's certainly much better than my site!


8 May-- Am very tired. Did not get enough work done. Do not care to say anything more tonight.

Except: sublease signed today! Entire rent covered for 2026 Maple for 3 months. Most excellent.


7 May-- ASG meeting tonight. I talked about the bill and answered questions. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, and don't really know how it went, but a number of people told me it went well. Of course, they could just be saying that. But I guess I'll take their word for it. They seem to think it will pass, which is good, although after my funding experience no one is going to get me to just trust that things will come out right with ASG.

I got bored in class today, and instead of just doodling, I suddenly came up with the idea of making wedding guest lists. Yes, this may be the most random thing ever, as there is absolutely no likelihood of me getting married in the remotely near future, nor do I want to. It wasn't an "Ooh, weddings, romantic" sort of thing, it was more of a "Hmm, it would be interesting to make lists and add up numbers and sort names into tiered levels. More interesting than lecture, anyway." So I spent an hour coming up with different-sized wedding guest lists, from 12, which I calculate is the bare minimum of people who have to be at my wedding, to 80, which includes hypothetical spouses for all people on the list who might get married in the next 10 years. (The cut-off is my 12-year-old cousin, because it would just be weird if she got married before me.) I had four tiers, and I was thinking of making a fifth list when class ended. God, I am so weird.


6 May-- Okay. So according to my professor, I should be able to work for him this summer. But not for the whole summer-- just from July 7 to August 15. So now I've just got to figure out what to do for the eight weeks surrounding it. (This of course resulted in me spending an embarassing number of hours trying to look for jobs online, despite knowing after a half-hour I'd found out everything I could find out.)

Spent a couple hours using JSTOR to brainstorm thesis ideas. Very minor progress.

The NSAS bill went through rules committee tonight. Tomorrow it goes to the full senate, where it'll just be presented and people will ask questions, no debate or voting till next week. I get way too nervous about these things. I'm thanking my lucky stars for having Tamara to help out with all of this.

Oh, and my most productive academic work of the evening was on someone else's assignment. But I think translating and interpreting Spanish poetry is actually kinda cool, despite Alex's loathing of it. I'd pick that over all this memorizing of grammar and vocabulary (I know, I know, it's important!) any day!


5 May-- We've hopefully taken one big step towards having some of the hassles figured out; we now have a verbal committment to sublet our apartment, so when we actually get the document signed, that's 3 months' rent taken off our hands, which is nice. But despite that weight in the process of lifting, I still feel incredibly stressed. Thinking about my thesis is freaking me out, and there's a part of me that is trying desperately to convince myself that it's a horrible idea and I really shouldn't write one at all. It's not good how much I'm listening to it.

Summer job, summer housing, NSAS bill, various schoolwork-- arrrrgh! And I'm letting this get to me despite the fact that I should have enough time to take care of everything in a relaxed manner if I could just breathe and be rational. I need to figure out a way to calm down.


4 May-- This was supposed to be a weekend where my light workload meant I could get ahead on things and be on top of everything I need to be on top of. Instead, it was a weekend where my light workload meant I could fill literally hours searching for potential summer jobs. There's so much to figure out that I don't want to even think about but really have to-- subletting, a job, my thesis, and much more-- that I want to just hide in a cave somewhere.

In other news-- happy birthday Kim! We celebrated by going to a most excellent Persian restaurant, all 13 of us. The food was very tasty, although unlike Alex I could not finish all of my meal. Instead, I took not only my dill rice, but everyone else's dill rice, home in an almost overflowing take-out container.

Do not want tomorrow to be Monday. You can get away with putting things off during the weekend, but when the week starts again, you have to deal with life. Damn life.


3 May-- Dammit!!! Very depressing and disappointing news today.

So I've been planning for a long time to stay in Evanston this summer and work as a research assistant to my work-study prof. Yes, I applied for internships in DC, but I knew I very well might not get them (and I didn't), and might've chosen to stay in Evanston anyway. However, waiting to hear back from the last of them, I hadn't officially confirmed with the professor until this week. It never occurred to me that this would be a problem, because he'd assured me for months that he wanted me to work for him and there'd be a job for me if I wanted one. He did say, "Let me know as soon as possible," but he certainly never actually asked for a committment at any particular date. And I've told him all through April, "I'll be able to confirm soon, after I hear back from these places. In all likelihood, I'll be working with you, I just want to hear from these places. The fact that I haven't heard from them yet means that I almost surely haven't gotten the internships, so I'll probably be working for you."

So I give him the official committment yesterday by e-mail. Today I get an e-mail back, saying, "So, I checked my funds, and I don't seem to have enough money to pay you. I thought you were working in DC. I wish you'd told me this a few weeks ago. I'm sorry."

Completely and utterly unexpected, and tremendously disappointing. This kind of shatters my well-laid plans for the summer. Either go home and spend the summer in a meaningless (but well-paying) job, earn a bunch of money, and be bored out of my mind night and day-- or try to find a job here, which I can't imagine being anything other than meaningless at this point and would probably not pay enough for me to save a whole lot after paying rent, but at least have lots of time to enjoy with my friends. I am very much leaning towards the latter, provided that I can actually find said job, but I don't know how the hell I'm going to manage to justify it to my parents, who will probably be upset with me. And I'll have to figure out housing really soon if I'm staying, but I won't know if I can stay until I find a job...

Arrrrrrrgh! It's not fair!!! How could the professor do this to me? :-(


2 May-- Ah, baseball. We squeezed into Nate's car and headed north towards Milwaukee at around 4:30 today, a little behind schedule, and thanks to traffic we didn't end up arriving until shortly before the game began-- so no chance to see Coney for me, sadly. The game was entertaining enough; the Brewers managed to make the Mets-- who, trust me, are very, very bad-- look good, and pitched and fielded horribly. Miller Park was pretty empty and unexcited. But it was fun, as well as very, very cheap, as in under $5 for ticket, parking, gas and tolls. There was also the $2.75 french fries, more expensive than my ticket, because the discount $1 hot dogs were obviously not an option.

(Oh, and I almost forgot. I got hit on by an usher. He finished telling Scott and Justin that it was okay for us to stay down by the field where we were sitting, and then turned to me and said, "And you're coming with me," and held out his hand to me. Old man. Very creepy.)


1 May-- I meant to get this entry written last night, really I did. I also meant to set up the new template and start a May page. But I ended up staying awake to help Alex with his Spanish essay until 5:30, which is perfectly reasonable in theory considering my before-2PM Friday classes were canceled, but in practice meant that since I'd gotten 4 hours of sleep the night before and 5 hours the night before that and had been up for 21 hours, my head was aching and swirling and I kept dozing off with Alex having to shake me awake so I could look at another sentence. I was asleep within 2 minutes of finally getting back to my room, which is remarkable for me since it's odd for me to fall asleep within 15 minutes, even. But yeah, writing was not happening.

If it had, I would've been able to tell you about Professional Strength Kank-a, the strange liquid which I got at Osco which numbed out half of my mouth so that I wouldn't have to feel the wisdom tooth sore. Bizarre, but effective. However, after applying it twice, my throat started to become extremely sore. A definitive link has not been established, but I'm afraid this stuff will be a trade-one-sort-of-pain-for-another thing, alas.

 

April 2003

  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30

 

 

 

 

March 2003

1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31            

 

 

 

 

 

February 2003

1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28

 

 

 

 

 

January 2003

1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31

 

 

 

 

 

December

  1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31          

 

 

 

 

 

November

        1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30

 

 

 

 

October

  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31

 

 

 

 

September

  1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30            

 

 

 

 

 

August

      1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31

 

 

 

 

July

 

 

 

 

June

1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30

 

 

 

 

May

1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last updated 17 May, 2003
Home

Intellectual Property Rights denounced by Britt Gordon-McKeon, 2002