~Forgotten Wings~

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19 April 2002

Alright, it's about time for an entry here that does not focus on either working through deep emotional issues, or on substantial personality analysis and attempts to restructure my life. In other words, I'm going to try to make this entry a little on the lighter side. I'm way too prone to these in-depth ramblings about my psyche, my life goals, and other things of that sort. It's the least I can do for my readers (I wonder who all of you are; I know some of you, but I wouldn't be terribly averse to finding who some of the others are-- yes, I have an overactive curiousity) to give you a break for at least one entry, and try to not be so gosh-darn serious!
Then what the hell am I supposed to write about?

Roughly 90 percent of the time recently, life has been pretty good. The weather has been nice (although what's just a touch too warm outside is way too hot in my room at night), and I've been overjoyed to be wearing my sandals again. Although it looks like the weather will be getting cold again for the next few days, and I may have to put socks and shoes back on for a while. Curses! I really do hate socks and shoes. You can tell this from the fact that when I know I'm only going to be in the dorm for 10 minutes before having to leave again, I still take them off to walk around barefoot for those minutes. When I was a kid, I used to get callouses on the bottom of my feet from running around barefoot in my neighborhood. It was pretty painful, considering I always had to climb up my driveway, which wasn't paved but was composed of pointy little stones, but that was still better than shoes. I'm constantly barefoot in the dorm, but it's a special joy to wear sandals outside, too.

With the warm weather, of course, has come all sorts of fun with water. Granted, my friends have been known to have fun with water no matter the temperature, even when that water comes in the form of snow. But the heat just brings everything to a higher level. We've all become armed with water guns from Osco, and those who have other weapons are especially to be feared. After getting into the habit, I wonder if the cooldown in weather will really stop the carnage, especially considering our hostage situation. Well, even if so, there'll be many more warm days ahead.

Of course, one of the best parts of the warmth is the opportunity to study down by the lake. This doesn't always lead to the most efficient studying, but it's just so much more enjoyable than sitting in your room. And honestly, is it really that much less productive than sitting in a suite with a table strewn with 24 beckoning cards? Granted, I've only been 3 times so far-- one of which was cut short since it was colder than we expected, one in which I didn't really do actual studying, and one which gave us a good 45 minutes before it got too dark. But there'll be more to come. And hopefully there'll be walks as well. Last spring, those were an almost nightly occurance, and something I really loved.

I don't know exactly why, but the coming of spring has very much accentuated my sense of the cyclical nature of the year. It seems everywhere I turn, something reminds me of last spring. This didn't particularly happen earlier in the year; with the possible exception of the baseball playoffs, which always bring to my mind memories of earlier Octobers, I haven't particularly connected anything about this year with the year before. Yet now, the warmth as well as other cues seem to keep sending my mind flying back there. From wanting to study by the lake and take walks there, to connecting events and dates to "last year when," to thinking about what was happening in the lives of myself and my friends last spring, to thinking about who I was as a person a year ago (I promise, I won't go into that-- not this time, anyway!), it's just been on my mind. I know there are other reasons for it, too, but it's just striking.

Perhaps another reason for it is that I really am drawing close to the end of my second year of college. I'm close to the halfway mark here, soon to be nearer graduation and moving out into the unknown than to the day I moved in for the first time.

Alright, I've really got nowhere to go from here, so I'll stop and put this up now. And for once, this entry will have the correct date at the top. Virtually all of my other entries have been written sometime between 1 and 5 AM of the day following the date I label them with. Hey, if it represents the thought process of the day, and it's written before I go to sleep, why not give it the date of the day I've just lived through? It doesn't really become the next day until I wake up, does it? I'm not sure I grasp the concept of midnight that Colleen seems to be so fond of.

But this entry I shall label as 19 April, and 19 April it is as I write-- 8:45 PM, to be specific. Hey, there's a first for everything.


Last updated 6 December, 2002


Intellectual Property Rights denounced by Britt Gordon-McKeon, 2002